I have a lot to say. The past couple of weeks I have forsaken blogging, journaling, pretty much all forms of processing the events that are taking place in my life or the lessons I am learning. Why? I honestly don't know. So if you read this all the way through, I'm sure you are in for a big treat...maybe. The past few weeks I have been interning at a church. It has been a wonderful experience thus far. I have been a part of their worship services on Sunday mornings playing the keys and singing. Music is one of my passions. I love it. I love listening to it, playing it, goofing around with it. It's soothing and inspiring. Sometimes lyrics hit you hard and make you think and other times they are just goofy and are good for belting out loudly in the car (most likely by yourself or if you're a girl, another group of girls). I love music so I've loved getting to share one of my passions with the other people on that stage. I've especially loved getting the chance to lead worship with my cousin and her husband. He was the first person to ever get me involved in a praise band and it's now come back full circle. Funny how those things happen. I have been extremely convicted lately about the attitude that I go into worship with. A lot of times I get caught up in making sure that the music I'm playing is perfect and every note I hit is perfect. While those things may matter some, they are of no significance in comparison to what I'm singing. I had this realization the other day when I was listening to my three year old nephew sing. He likes to make up his own songs about any topic under the sky, such as poop, popsicles, pirates, monsters-you name it, he sings about it. So I thought, what if me-a 21 year old adult ( and I use that term loosely) started singing about poop, popsicles, pirates, and monsters. Would it matter if I hit every note right, if my technique on the keys was perfect, or even what my voice sounded like? Probably not. You would probably still think I was a little insane and not that talented. Be honest. The content of what we sing, or even say, is so much more important that how we sing, or say, it. Worship is not about how great a person sounds. It's about what's coming out of their heart. Worship should be vertical-between a person and the Lord- not horizontal. Worship should be used for glorifying God not lifting up man. According to scripture, music is meant to praise and exalt the Lord.
"Sing unto the LORD a new song, and his praise from the end of the earth, ye that go down to the sea, and all that is therein; the isles, and the inhabitants thereof. Let the wilderness and the cities thereof lift up their voice, the villages that Kedar doth inhabit: let the inhabitants of the rock sing, let them shout from the top of the mountains." Isaiah 42:10-11
"O give thanks unto the LORD; call upon his name: make known his deeds among the people.
Sing unto him, sing psalms unto him: talk ye of all his wondrous works." Psalm 105:1-2
Sing unto him, sing psalms unto him: talk ye of all his wondrous works." Psalm 105:1-2
Not only have I gotten to play music, but I have been able to be apart of starting a wonderful program at their church which feeds kids lunches each day. This feeding program is something that I look forward to each and every day upon waking up. I have developed relationships with some of these families. I have heard some heartbreaking stories of trials and struggles that have plagued these children and their parents. I have seen parents, hesitant of what conditions this "free" lunch may hold for them, come alone and then slowly start bringing their children in. I have answered questions and asked plenty more. I have had a small child run and cling my knees and another one tell me they cut their hair to match the other intern. It has been a blessing to watch as certain families come back each day at the same time and also a little heartbreaking as a day passes and a certain family doesn't come back. So far one of the big lessons I have learned from this program is about giving. No I'm not giving my own food or even money for this food. I'm giving my time. It's as simple as that. I'm giving my time to these kids each day. Whether it be by refilling the chip basket or pouring ice out of a cooler, restocking the corn dogs, counting the number of milks in the fridge, or just standing there waiting-being available. Some of these people didn't talk that much when they first started coming. Now some of them sit and talk for twenty minutes or more. Availability matters. Sincerity matters. Interest matters. Whether or not we think someone has something interesting to say, we should be interested in them, in their lives, in their stories. I once told someone that I could write a book about my life and my family and it would sell because it was so interesting. We should regard each person we come into contact with that way. They should be interesting to us. Their beliefs should be interesting to us. Their lives, their struggles, their trials, their victories should ALL be interesting to us. Being available for those people to talk to WHEN they are ready is important. Most of the time I stand behind a counter waiting for someone else to come in. But I'm there. I'm available. That's important. I struggled with feeling like I wasn't really doing anything but I am. I'm available for those kids and for those parents and anyone else that might come into the church. It wasn't something that I was immediately aware of. In all honesty, I just became aware of it today. I had a friend send me this verse on Sunday because I was sorting through all of this and he was sending me encouraging verses. As soon as I read it, I was convicted-in a good way. I was "convicted but inspired" is how he put it.
"Do everything without grumbling or arguing,so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life. And then I will be able to boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor in vain." Philippians 2:14-16
"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men," Colossians 3:24
"I, the LORD, have called you
for a righteous [purpose],
and I will hold you by your hand.
I will keep you, and I make you
a covenant for the people
[and] a light to the nations,
in order to open blind eyes,
to bring out prisoners from the dungeon,
[and] those sitting in darkness from the prison house.
I am Yahweh, that is My name;
I will not give My glory to another,
or my praise to idols." Isaiah 42:6-8
"A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling" Psalm 68:5
"Learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow." Isaiah 1:17
I leave you with this last verse and a song. I don't know whether you relate to any of this-relearning the way you view music or realizing that even just being available matters. But those are my big lessons for the past few weeks. God loves those who sometimes aren't given any love. We are called to help those in need. We are called to be the voice of the voiceless and the defender for those who cannot defend themselves. You may be wondering how the two lessons relate. Well, before we can show others Christ's love, we have to experience it first ourselves. Our love should be a horizontal overflow from a vertical fountain. What does the Lord require of us-to act justly,love mercy. and to walk humbly.
"He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.
And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God." Micah 6:8
for a righteous [purpose],
and I will hold you by your hand.
I will keep you, and I make you
a covenant for the people
[and] a light to the nations,
in order to open blind eyes,
to bring out prisoners from the dungeon,
[and] those sitting in darkness from the prison house.
I am Yahweh, that is My name;
I will not give My glory to another,
or my praise to idols." Isaiah 42:6-8
"A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling" Psalm 68:5
"Learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow." Isaiah 1:17
I leave you with this last verse and a song. I don't know whether you relate to any of this-relearning the way you view music or realizing that even just being available matters. But those are my big lessons for the past few weeks. God loves those who sometimes aren't given any love. We are called to help those in need. We are called to be the voice of the voiceless and the defender for those who cannot defend themselves. You may be wondering how the two lessons relate. Well, before we can show others Christ's love, we have to experience it first ourselves. Our love should be a horizontal overflow from a vertical fountain. What does the Lord require of us-to act justly,love mercy. and to walk humbly.
"He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.
And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God." Micah 6:8
