It's complicated, but not really.

I haven't posted in a while, but I'm hoping this next post makes up for it. I will be honest, tonight I found myself in the absolute last place I thought I would be on a Saturday night but who am I to try to plan my life. I can sum up my late night excursion with just one word. Love, it's complicated. Such a small, perplexing word that is so often hard to define. Tonight, though, I saw the true definition of love acted out by my roommate as I spent the evening in the home of strangers trying to show them the love that Christ has showed her. To be honest, I had no intention of going to these people's home and spending a good hour or so there. I was anxious to get back to my studying, too busy worrying about school and my upcoming exams. But there I was, spending the evening with a woman that I had never met but had only heard about by way of my roommate. It's not hard to immediately notice the needs of this family. As we walked into the house carrying groceries and a few other things, I can't let go of the delight and borderline excitement the woman expressed for the package of toilet paper my roommate was carrying. Let's be real for a moment, how often do I get excited about having toilet paper? That's one of those small things that I take for granted, much like socks, soap, or a bed. Immediately, I couldn't help but love and feel for these people. As the woman surveyed all that my roommate had bought her and began to share the burden of her father's illness and physical sufferings, my heart could do nothing but break. I've seen what it is like to be a caregiver for someone who is physically ill. I've seen the toll it can have on a person mentally and physically and how hard it can be to maintain hope amidst financial burdens. This woman needed encouragement, and I saw my roommate be that encouragement just by loving on her, giving her all that she could. I was blown away. But the night wasn't over. At the far end of the room that consisted of both the living room and kitchen, sat a keyboard. Who knew that I was in for such a blessing? The father, physically in pain, finds the strength to come out and play a song. What does he play about? Of course, Jesus. The most beautiful picture soon unfolded before my eyes as this man, with all of his infirmities, begins to play and sing with all he has about his love for Jesus. The song was simple. Just different renditions of the simple phrase "Jesus, how I love Jesus". In that moment, it was the most beautiful song that I have heard. I doubt he knew how much his song touched me but I couldn't do anything but smile. I watched as my roommate prayed over him, for his healing and comfort. It wasn't too long after that he walked back out of his room to hear me and my roommate play and sing. The only song I could think to play off the top of my head was "It Is Well." It's my favorite hymn and the song I have spent more time playing on the piano than any other. It's also the song that had me running out of a church crying just one short week ago. Tonight, as we played and sang this song, I couldn't help but thinking about the man on the couch behind me. I'm sure this man had dreams and ambitions, especially with as much as he loved music and how talented he was. Now he found himself being taken care of by his daughter, struggling to get the medicines that he needs. Even in that, there was still a joy about it. The encouragement I felt in that, the love from Father in that moment. The departing request from the woman was for lampshades. I left that house wanting to go buy lampshades right then. Since it was already after midnight, that wasn't really feasible but I still wanted to. The Lord works in mysterious ways. Those moments that we have little part in planning, sometimes tend to be the most notable.

I didn't expect to spend my Saturday evening in a house with strangers singing hymns, listening to a man sing the name Jesus over and over, or making jokes with an extremely funny woman, but there I was. I already want to go back and spend some more time playing music and talking with them. Tonight, I saw love. Loving others beyond our resources. Loving others because they need it, because Father loves them. I saw love as a definition of meeting people's needs as much as you can, and even as just the desire to meet their needs. Christ loved us to the cross, how much that should affect my love for others. Love is not a feeling, it's an action. Loving others in their brokenness, their time of need, their joys, their pain. Loving others through their differences, through their harshness, and through their love for you. Love. It's complicated, but not really.

“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. ¹⁰ If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. ¹¹ I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. ¹² My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. ¹³ Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. ¹⁴You are my friends if you do what I command. ¹⁵ I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. ¹⁶ You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. ¹⁷ This is my command: Love each other." 


John 15 9-17