Pump the Brakes

We have started studying Ephesians in the small group that I have been blessed to be a part of this summer. It's been such a great experience to learn more about Father with the ladies who are serving in ministry this summer just like myself. I have loved getting to hear their stories, we all come from such different places and backgrounds, yet we all have one thing in common. Each one of us is here this summer, and there are things that are challenging us, they are stretching us, they are making us ask questions, they are making us learn, and ultimately all of our situations are making us cling even harder to Father. I am so thankful for the ladies that decided to start this small group for us this summer. I am so blessed to be surrounded by the team that I am surrounded by. This was all just a side note, but I wanted to take a moment to express my gratitude to Father and all of the ladies involved for creating such a wonderful sense of community here.

So we have been studying Ephesians, a book I have read before. Just in the first chapter that we have gone through, I have found so much to chew on. In particular, there was one phrase that was repeated several times throughout the first chapter. I can't tell you how many times I have probably read this verse of scripture because I literally can't remember but I know I've at least read it once if not multiple times. Never before have I had the realization I had the other night with such magnitude and power. It was like Father literally flipped the switch in my mind and I went from being oblivious to completely aware. If you've been near me at any point during the last year, you might know that the song I have become obsessed with is one that Bethel sings. It's called I Will Exalt. I love that song with a fiery passion. I think the message within the song is so powerful. The lyrics are simple and they go like this.

                                         Your presence is all I need, it's all I want, and all I seek
                                                And without it, without it there's no meaning
                                 Your presence is the air I breathe, the song I sing, and the love I need
                                                     And without it, without it I'm not living 


                                                   I will exalt You Lord, I will exalt You Lord
                                                            There is no one like You God
                                                   I will exalt You Lord, I will exalt You Lord
                                                            No other name be lifted high 

                                          There will be no one like You, and no one beside You 
                                                        You alone are worthy of all praise


I love this song. I love the message behind it, simply that without God-there is nothing, no point, no meaning, no life. I was reminded of this, and really re-shown this lesson, as I was reading in Ephesians the other night. Twice in that chapter alone, Paul says this phrase "so that we would bring praise to God's glory." Now we were supposed to read this chapter in four different versions to see if anything impacted us between the changes in wording so I have the three other versions too. 


                                       "so that we would bring praise to God's glory"-NCV
                                              "might be for the praise of His glory"- NIV
                                              "might bring praise to His glory"-HCSB
                                             "might be to the praise of His glory"-ESV


It's all the same and as I read it hit me. All of my life I had prayed, Lord let all I do bring You glory. I had heard that our purpose in life was to glorify God. As one of the other interns says, pump the brakes. Paul says here that we were chosen in order to bring PRAISE to God's glory. God does not need us in order to be glorified. His glory comes from the fulfillment of scripture, His keeping of His word, His righteousness. His glory comes from Him. If you think about it, it makes complete sense. If you look in scripture, you see how it's evidenced. Father commonly uses the smallest armies to win the largest battles. He often does things that no human could even fathom accomplishing. He used Moses to free the entire nation of Israel from the Egyptians. He used David, a small shepherd boy, to bring down a giant. Think about the wall of Jericho. Joshua and his army did not do anything. They didn't life a finger, but God brought that wall down. How many times in scripture did God defeat an army before anyone even got there or with an army that is significantly smaller. Or how often does Father do something crazy, like parting the Red Sea or sending food from the sky. Father doesn't need us to glorify Him, He can do that all on His own. But He works in our lives so that His glory can be made manifest and we can share with others what He is doing. We are to bring praise to His glory. I get so excited now every time I find a new reference in scripture that says we are to bring praise to His glory, or allow His glory to manifest in us, and not bring Him glory. So here's a link to that song I was talking about.

The Box

Lesson from NYC: never agree to carry a box from one end of the city to the other

Last night after Apologetics Cafe was over, Allison (one of the other interns) and I headed back from the lower east side towards the MNYBA building. Now there are several different ways to get to the Graffiti building (the church that holds Apologetics Cafe) from where we are in the city, but the route that we usually takes involves a couple of transfers and a good bit of walking. As we left, we were asked to carry a box full of books back to the building. Of course we agreed, it wasn't that large of a box so we didn't think we would have any issues.

Allison started carrying the box first and as we walked I continually asked her if she needed me to to carry it for a little bit. It just looked uncomfortable carting around this awkwardly sized box in the middle of New York City. Eventually she had to hand it over and so I began the task of carrying the box. It started off easy. The box wasn't that heavy, and the only problem was that it was an awkward size. It was just wide enough to make it weird carrying it in front of you and too shallow to carry it propped on your hip. So here I go, carrying this box, flipping from side to side, holding it in front, propping it on benches in the subway stations, trying to do everything in my power to make carrying this box look as easy as possible.

Eventually the box started to get heavier and heavier. I wasn't throwing it from one arm to the other anymore, but I was slowly changing hands. I was looking for anything to prop the box on to relieve me of some of its weight. The trains were so full that we had to stand in the middle of the aisles which also meant I had to hold the box and also hold myself up because if you've ever ridden on a subway you know that they can make you lose your balance and the next thing you know, you are finding yourself staring up at the people sitting down and everyone is laughing at you. The box became too heavy and I had to admit defeat and let Allison take the box for the remainder of the trip.

As I finished the trip home last night, the whole episode with the box reminded me of the burdens we carry as Christians. Sometimes that fear, that sin, that situation, isn't really that heavy or hard to bear alone at first. We think that we can handle it. Sometimes they start out little and grow, and other times they are just so awkward or embarrassing that we just don't want to admit it is bothering us to anyone else. Those 'boxes' become heavier and heavier as we carry them alone. We begin looking for other things to help relieve the weight of the box, whether that ends up being relationships, drugs, alcohol, sports, or work. We begin to use those things to help hold some of the weight. We begin to rely on those things to keep us from admitting that the 'box' is too much for us to handle. Instead of asking for help, we try to make it look like there isn't a 'box', it just doesn't exist and we aren't carrying anything.

Just like the passage I shared with my mom the other day, we are called to relinquish our 'boxes' to someone who promises to help.

²⁸ "Come to me, all of you who are tired and have heavy loads, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Accept my teachings and learn from me, because I am gentle and humble in spirit, and you will find rest for your lives. ³⁰ The burden that I ask you to accept is easy; the load I give you to carry is light." 
                                                                  Matthew 11


Just as Allison took the box from me, Christ offers to take our 'boxes' from us and to give us complete rest from them rather than the temporary relief that everything else offers. Christ promises that as we learn from Him, as we learn who He is, we will also learn true rest. He will lighten our loads, not because following Him is easy, but because the more we trust Him with our burdens, the more our hearts will be filled with peace.

⁶ Do not worry about anything, but pray and ask God for everything you need, always giving thanks.⁷ And God's peace, which is so great we cannot understand it, will keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
                                                               Philippians 4

Old Favorites, Fresh Outlook

This past Sunday as I was sitting in my second service of the day, at the Korean church Compass just a few blocks from the building, I was overcome with sadness and joy both at the same time. Confusing I know. The past year and specifically in the past few weeks I have been given multiple opportunities to witness to others who are not believers. New York is swarming with people who do not know Christ or the first thing about the Gospel. At home, I have many friends and family members who are so far removed from who Christ is and what a relationship with Him is really about even though many of them grew up in church or were exposed to Christianity at a young age. I've been talking with one of my good friends lately and our conversations always end the same way, with my promises of prayer and their dismissals of needing it. On Sunday, I was overcome with such a burden for these people-specific ones and even those in the city that I haven't had the chance to meet.

Many people dismiss Christianity as just another way to cope or another form of authority placed on their lives. Many of those that I have spoken with see the Bible as contradictory. Some believe it is used in hypocritical manners with scriptures being applied to one ideology and not another. My heart aches for these people. The ones who believe that they have hit the bottom and are trying to pull themselves together. The ones who don't see that the things they are searching for are not going to fulfill them. The ones who believe that if they could just obtain one more material item then they will finally be happy with who they are and where they are in life. My heart breaks knowing that there are people out there who are searching for their worth in the admiration they receive from others. People that think there is nothing wrong with the way they are living when their lives are completely absent of God and His presence. And my heart is shattered by the stories I hear of people feeling like their mistakes have made them worthless, irreconcilable, irredeemable.

I have heard such stories from friends and strangers alike. Those who think that in order to receive the promises of the Gospel they must first fix themselves. They can't call themselves a Christian until they first start living like one. Tonight as I sat speaking with a homeless man, my heart was filled with pain. This man had seen such sorrow throughout his life. He had lost several family members to suicide and cancer, he had struggled with a drug addiction, and now he was living on the streets. As he told me his story, he began to weep and I wanted to weep with him. He told me that if he was not able to finally overcome the drug addiction he had fought so hard against, that he hoped he could find a way to die. My heart ached because this man had so many burdens and no where to turn with them. He was not a believer nor did he have any desire to speak about God. I simply asked if I could pray with him and he said I could when he wasn't around. He didn't understand how someone with enough power to inflict swift and fatal judgment on an unrighteous population could show mercy, especially to an addict. In his eyes, everyone saw him as a burden on society, someone that couldn't be helped. And I was brought back to church on Sunday afternoon as we sang Mighty to Save--a song I have heard and sung along with more times than I can count. This time I truly believed that my God is mighty to save and that everyone, everyone, needs compassion. What a truly blessed people we are to have a Savior who shows us love in the deepest ways.

I thought again to one of my favorite hymns-Just As I Am. A woman, Charlotte Elliott, wrote this hymn after years of bad health and disability. She was belligerent and despised any kind of religion. Her bad circumstances had left her with doubt in God. After years of holding onto her anger and resentment towards God, she finally surrendered everything she was and began writing poems that would later be hymns. The minister who led her to Christ told her after being asked how she herself could become a Christian, "You would give yourself to God just as you are now, with your fightings and fears, hates and loves, pride and shame."

I don't know who's reading this post-if you are a believer witnessing to someone or someone who is not a believer in the slightest. But whoever you are, know that Father loves you and will redeem you from the further depths than you could even imagine. He can not be defeated and He will restore you completely. He will forgive all that you've done and will do and He will help you overcome any heavy burden. For

"The Lord is good and right;  He points sinners to the right way.''
Psalm 25:8


This is a scripture reference I write on my hand every day. I then write the names of those I know who are not believers around this passage as a reminder to life them up in prayer whenever I see the reference. Some of them I will never know the outcome, but some of them I eagerly await the day to call them my brother or sister in Christ. 


"Come to me, all of you who are tired and have heavy loads, and I will give you rest. Accept my teachings and learn from me, because I am gentle and humble in spirit, and you will find rest for your lives. The burden that I ask you to accept is easy; the load I give you to carry is light."
Matthew 11:28-30

Just as I am, without one plea, but that Thy blood was shed for me

And that Tho bidst me come to Thee, O Lamb of God I come, I come!

Just as I am, and waiting not, to rid my soul of one dark blot; 

To Thee whose blood can cleanse each spot, O Lamb of God I come, I come!

Just as I am, though tossed about, with many a conflict, many a doubt

Fightings and fears within, without, O Lamb of God, I come, I come!

Just as I am, poor, wretched, blind, sight, riches, healing of the mind

Yea, all I need, in Thee to find, O Lam of God, I come, I come!

Just as I am, Thou wilt receive, wilt welcome, pardon, cleanse, relieve

Because Thy promise I believe, O Lamb of God, I come, I Come!

What's the Purpose?

SO something I have struggled with in my past two weeks of being in New York has been discovering the purpose of this trip. I have tried to figure out exactly why, out of all of my choices, I ended up in the one I least wanted to go to. Since I've been here I have fallen in love with the city. I love the people and I love all of the amazing opportunities but I have still struggled with trying to figure out why I am here. If you read my last post, you know that I have been doing a lot of office work which isn't my ideal situation because I love to be around people. I love talking to people, spending time in conversation with them, and just really getting involved in their lives. So spending my days in an office with little social interaction, well it's a struggle for me. I don't mind the work at all and the people I am working with are wonderful! It's just a different atmosphere than I would have chosen for myself.

Not only did I struggle with the fact that the scene I am in is different, but I also struggled with being a summer missionary and simply doing office work. When I hear missionary, I think of evangelism or reaching out to people, working with kids' ministries or youth programs. While I am doing that some on the weekends, that just isn't where my biggest ministry is. I struggled with the idea that being a worker in an office can, in fact, be serving as a missionary.

Today, as I spent my third consecutive day in the basement sorting through financial records in boxes getting ready for our big shredding day, I had a lot of time to think and talk with God about what the purpose of me being here actually is. Some of you may know that grad school in August isn't a possibility for me anymore. So now I'm back at square one with not having a plan post-New York. It's frightening but exciting at the same time. The Lord really worked with me on that fact, again emphasizing to me the importance of not looking towards where I am going but focusing on where I am and more importantly, who I am. But what He really whispered to me today was the revelation that working in an office IS doing missionary work.

A lot of times we think of missions as going for a week, a couple of months, or maybe a few years and then returning home. Missions brings to mind an image of a short term commitment. You come, you serve, you leave and sometimes you may or may not have had an impact. What I'm learning, is that sometimes this mindset can be wrong. Not all the time, don't get me wrong, but sometimes it can be. In our intern bible study today we talked about a man whose goal was to learn the first names of all the people in his neighborhood, that was his goal for his missions term. Now I'm terrible with names so it would probably take me twice as long as him, but still that would take years. He's been here around thirty. To the people that are serving in these communities, missions is a daily commitment to live life in their neighborhood. They don't focus on church programs, they don't focus on worship services, yes they have them, but their outreach is through life--the joys, the obstacles, the problems, the solutions--whatever it may be. They live life with these people. I just can't have the same impact that these people can have in their neighborhoods.

So, I realized, working in the office, spending days in the basement, filing paperwork, all of that is my way of serving those who are already doing missions in this field. We don't think about doing missions for the missionaries, but I'm realizing it's an important thing. Sometimes things get overwhelming, sometimes they need encouragement, sometimes just reminding that there are people supporting them, sometimes they need people to answer phones. So that's my purpose. I'm serving the missionaries, the people who are living life here already. I'm serving those people that are building relationships, and I'm trying to build some relationships of my own within the neighborhood. Just like it's not about where I am but who I am, it's not about what I'm doing, it's about Who I am doing it for.

Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in one spirit, contending as one man for the faith of the gospel-                               Philippians 1:27 If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death— even death on a cross! Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. Philippians 2:1-11 Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen. 1 Peter 4:10-11 Lesson from the city today: taking a group of 40 from one side of manhattan to the other is a little stressful.....

Let the Rain Fall

I want to spend some time in this post letting you all know a little more about what I am doing up here in the big city. It has been pretty much non-stop since we arrived on the 1st. We immediately got to the building where we are living and we were then rushed off to Queens to meet a pastor of a church that one of the other interns would be working with. It has been non-stop ever since.

My partner Crystal and I are sharing a tiny room, which I have dubbed "The Cupboard". We cannot even pass each other it's that small. If one of us needs to walk from one end to the other, well then whoever the other one is has to be sitting on the bed. I like to describe it as cozy. We are also working together in the office at the MNYBA (metropolitan new york baptist association) building. A lot of my work consists of assistant type things, writing emails, filing papers, making staples.com orders, or whatever else is needed of me at the time. My big project currently consists of me staying in the dark and dreary basement, where I get no cell phone reception, and marking old boxes full of ancient financial records that can be taken to be shredded when the missions team arrives on Monday. I enjoy helping to do the little mundane tasks around the office because I know, mostly through their great show of appreciation, that those things are needed.

One of the biggest things I love about this place is that my role is not confined by hours or days. I spent all day Sunday going from one church to the next all the way from the Upper Westside to the Lower Eastside and then to Queens. I was fortunate enough to be able to teach Sunday School for an Ethiopian church that meets here in the MNYBA building where I live and work. There were only four children but they were so kind and sweet. We talked about the importance of knowing the Word, and we did that through the story of Josiah in 2 Kings 22. We had the opportunity to talk to some of the kids about what it really meant to be Christians, to some of them is was baptism at an early age and there was one girl who said that it was about knowing Jesus. These kids ranged from age 7-12 and their knowledge of the Bible was impressive but their eagerness to learn was even more impressive. They soaked up every word that we shared with them. English was not the primary language of any of these children so we tried to find a memory verse that would be easiest for them to learn. We landed with 2 Timothy 3:16.


Everything in the Scriptures is God’s Word. All of it is useful for teaching and helping people and for correcting them and showing them how to live. 


By the end of the two hours, these kids, even the ones who barely spoke, were able to recite this verse. They loved every minute of the two hour Sunday School lesson that we taught them, and I loved it even more. Afterwards we were asked to join the adults for organic homemade bread and tea. Getting the chance to just sit with these people and talk with them about who they are and where they have been was a blessing and I look forward to repeating it this week.

Since Sunday school didn't dismiss until 10:30 and then we sat with the adults awhile, we decided to go to Hillsong NYC church because it started at noon. So we trekked our way down to the Lower Eastside, walked to the wrong location first, and then found ourselves in a two block line waiting to get into the Gramercy theater to attend. We were very lucky in getting in because we were at the very very back of the entrance where it was indeed standing room only. The service was amazing though. The biggest takeaway that I took from that service was sharing the gospel with others on a daily and consistent basis. It's not enough to wait for people to ask, we need to be out there sharing the Word with people on the streets.

Funny he should mention that, because as we were walking around Union Square later that afternoon we were approached by some people who asked us if we knew about god the mother. This sparked a good hour discussion between me, Crystal, and a man and woman who took us through a maze of scripture 'supporting' their ideology that there was a god the mother. This incidence was bringing in all of the things that I had heard and talked about that morning, from the importance of knowing the Word to the importance of going out and sharing it with people on the streets. Crystal and I talked about how heartbreaking it was that there are people out there teaching the wrong message. Not once did those people talk to us about Christ and His sacrifice and what that meant and how that affects us, but it was all about how most denominations were wrong in their practices and beliefs. We were saddened by the fact that very few of us are on the streets approaching people to tell them the good stuff.

But God works in wonderful ways because we were not planning on teaching at the Indonesian church this week, but due to miscommunication we were forced to throw together a lesson in five minutes. The topic they had been discussing was "How to Share the Gospel with Your Friends" and they had started with, naturally, the importance of knowing the Bible and the Gospel yourself. Our whole day tied perfectly together for this impromptu lesson.

The whole day, as tiring as it was, was a reminder that the Lord is always working behind the scenes. Something He shows us today may be something we use minutes, days, months, or even years from now. He may be teaching someone else something that goes just perfect with what you are learning. It's easy to get caught up in what the Lord is doing in our life and easy to forget that while He is working in our lives so intensely, He is working is other peoples' lives just as strongly. It's mind boggling to think about keeping all of that straight. But then again, He does say

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways,” 
declares the Lord.
⁹ “As the heavens are higher than the earth, 
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts."- Isaiah 55:8-9


It's just always amazing to be given tangible examples of how great and powerful our God is. 


Oh and the lesson for the day---don't forget your key in your room when it's raining outside and your phone is dead!

Lessons from the Big Apple

So today marks my one week mark here in the Big Apple and I've already learned a lot of things, both practical and spiritual. Hopefully now that I know a little more about where I will be and what I will be doing each day, I will be able to post on a more regular basis. My goal is to post at least three times a week (I need you all to keep me accountable to that!). I want to start sharing with all of you what the Lord is doing in this city, and trust me, He is doing a lot. So each post will be a combination of practical advice and stories. Hopefully you will find it entertaining or helpful or both. 

Lesson One: Be weary of the man in Union Square offering free massages....nothing good can come out of that. 

Lesson Two: Don't gawk at the giant buildings towering over you...you will stick out like a sore thumb and you will miss your subway stop. 

Lesson Three: Food carts are completely safe and delicious and cheap...you can't get any better than a $.99 hotdog

Lesson Four: Wear comfortable shoes because you will be walking more than you have ever walked in your life and fancy shoes that look nice just aren't practical anymore. 

Lesson Five: Not all New Yorkers are rude or mean. Most of them just have somewhere to be and they are already thinking about where they have to be ten hours after that. This feeds nicely into my lesson six. 

Lesson Six: Be where you are. 

Going into this summer, and even now, I had no idea what I was going back to in the fall. I just found out that my interview for grad school is July 12 and surprisingly I will still be in New York. I may have finally gotten it worked out where I can still have my interview but even then, it is not a guarantee that I will get in. So here I am, graduated from college with two degrees and still unsure of what I'm doing. As I've been getting more excited about being here in New York, I've realized that this not knowing what I'm doing next is actually a blessing in disguise. Originally it may have caused me to have a few panic attacks, but now I'm realizing that is teaching me to live, contently, where I am. Too many times, like the New Yorkers, I am not really thinking about where I am but my mind has already moved ahead to where I am going next. I forget to really focus on where I am and what I am doing and I let my mind wander ahead. Being completely clueless as to what the next step is in life has allowed me to really just focus on New York and the many opportunities here. Too many times I have allowed myself to get consumed with not only what's next, but the problems or obstacles I am going to face to make it to that point. I'm just another New Yorker walking hurriedly to the subway stop in order to catch the train in hopes of making a transfer in time to catch the bus on the other side of the city to make it to wherever I need to go by the time the sun sets. Not knowing has given me the freedom to sit and relax, to breathe in all that is around me. To release any anxiety and fear and just live every moment to it's fullest. 

"Seek first God's kingdom and what God wants. Then all your other needs will be met as well. So don't worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will have its own worries. Each day has enough trouble of its own." 

                                                              Matthew 6:33-34

Seek first God's kingdom and what God wants..........seek first God's kingdom and what God wants.....seek first God's kingdom and what God wants.....My hope is that the more I write it, the more it will seek in. Seek first God's kingdom and what God wants. THEN all your other needs will be met as well. I'm thankful that the Lord gave me an unexpected blessing in my time of uncertainty. I don't know when I will know where I will be in August, but I'm enjoying it. I guess it makes sense since we are told continually not to worry, to let peace rule our hearts, and to depend solely on the Lord. 

"Come to me, all of you who are tired and have heavy loads, and I will give you rest. Accept my teachings and learn from me, because I am gentle and humble in spirit, and you will find rest for your lives. The burden that I ask you to accept is easy; the load I give you to carry is light." 

                                                             Matthew 11:28-30

"I leave you peace; my peace I give you. I do not give it to you as the world does. So don't let your hearts be trouble or afraid."
                                                              John 14:27


"Let the peace that Christ gives control your thinking, because you were all called together in one body to have peace. Always be thankful. Let the teaching of Christ live in you richly. Use all wisdom to teach and instruct each other by singing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs with thankfulness in your hearts to God. Everything you do or say should be done to body Jesus your Lord. And in all you do, give thanks to God the Father through Jesus."
                                                             Colossians 3:15-17


"Let everyone see that you are gentle and kind. The Lord is coming soon. Do not worry about anything, but pray and ask God for everything you need, always giving thanks. And God's peace, which is so great we cannot understand it, will keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."
                                                              Philippians 4:6-7


The reoccurring theme in these pieces of scripture is that the Lord's peace is so different than the peace of the world, which when you think about it makes complete sense. We are asked from the time we graduate high school, what we are going to do with our lives, where we are going to college. Then when we graduate, we are supposed to know what we are doing next, where we are going to live, who we are going to marry. And the questions never end. We are always supposed to know what the next step is, but maybe it's a good thing that I don't right now. The Lord's plans are infinitely greater than my plans and I'm excited to see what they are.

Lesson Seven: Rooftop views are by far the best. 

Fighting the Urge to Fight

Most of you know that New York City is the place I call home for the summer. Fewer of you know that this was not where I wanted to be nor was I at all excited about the idea of spending the summer in the busy streets of the city that never sleeps. I like my sleep way too much. Even fewer of you know that since I have been here, which is only a little over three days, I have fallen in love with the place. The bright lights, the hustle, the convenience of running to the produce stand just around the block, the parks, the river, the museums, and I'm sure there is even more that I haven't discovered yet. It's an experience like none other and I'm so blessed and fortunate to have the opportunity to spend the next 8 weeks serving here. Everyone here has a story and I'm learning a lot through them. 

The other day I was reading in 2 Chronicles about Jehoshaphat. He was facing war, unknown conflict, and he was afraid. The odds were stacked against him and his people. The Ammonite army was much larger than Jehoshaphat's army. The result of a battle would surely be disastrous. But even with the overwhelming fear of defeat, Jehoshaphat looked to the Lord. 

"Jehoshaphat was afraid, so he decided to ask the Lord what to do. He announced that everyone in Judah should fast during this special time of prayer to God. The people of Judah came together to ask the Lord for help; they came form every town in Judah." 2 Chronicles 20:3-4

I stopped reading this passage shortly after this verse because I was blown away. His response to fear and my response to fear were two completely different things. In his uncertainty, he began to plead to the Lord for guidance and help. In my uncertainty, I panicked and became unyielding. I spent the several months prior to this week in doubt of where I was supposed to be. I knew better, I wasn't supposed to give up my entire summer in a city that I had no desire to go to. Instead of allowing the Lord to prepare my heart for the lessons I would learn and the people I was going to encounter, I kept pushing harder and harder against the fact that I was supposed to be here. A couple of days later, I finished the passage and was left with a good bit to chew on. 

After Jehoshaphat and his people have spent time in prayer and fasting seeking the Lord and His protection, the Lord speaks to them. He says, "Don't be afraid or discouraged because of this large army. The battle is not your battle, it is God's." vs 15. This is a reoccurring theme in scripture. The Lord continually tells us not to worry, not to fear, for He is always with us and is fighting the battles for us. The imagery of that in the rest of this story has such an impact. You see, the army did not fight. They didn't even come close to entering combat. As they started walking towards the Ammonite army, they began to worship and thank the Lord. They praised Him for His unfailing love. The Lord then sent out ambushes against the army and killed every last soldier before Jehoshaphat even arrived. 

"When the men from Judah came to the place where they could see the desert, they looked at the enemy's large army. But they only saw dead bodies lying on the ground; no one had escaped." vs 24

The Lord told them not to fear because the battle was not theirs, it was His. They had no idea that He meant to defeat the entire army before they were even within sight of each other. Yet that is exactly what He did. To me this story is a depiction of the life that we are supposed to live as believers. We are not to fear even when we are faced with great uncertainty because we may not see it, but the Lord is already fighting the battle in whatever form that takes. Our purpose is not to worry about fighting the battle. We are just to worship the Lord, each day and every day for every day we face a new obstacle. Every day we must overcome sin. But more importantly, we are supposed to approach every day with worshipping and thanksgiving. Our lives are to be a constant act of worship for the battles the Lord is fighting and for the battles He has not even fought yet. Because let's face it, we know He is going to win. 

Our job is not to fight. It's not to worry. It's not to fear. Our purpose is not to do great things or to exert great strength in trials. Our purpose is to live a life of worship to God. To tell others the story of redemption through the praises for our own redemption. We are to approach each day with an attitude of worship and let the Lord fight the battles, because He is much better at it. 

"Then he chose men to be singers to the Lord, to praise Him because He is holy and wonderful. As they marched in front of the army, they said, 'Thank the Lord, because His love continues forever.' As they began to sing and praise God, the Lord sent ambushes for the people of Ammon, Moab, and Edom who had come to attack Judah. And they were defeated." vs 21-22