Not only did I struggle with the fact that the scene I am in is different, but I also struggled with being a summer missionary and simply doing office work. When I hear missionary, I think of evangelism or reaching out to people, working with kids' ministries or youth programs. While I am doing that some on the weekends, that just isn't where my biggest ministry is. I struggled with the idea that being a worker in an office can, in fact, be serving as a missionary.
Today, as I spent my third consecutive day in the basement sorting through financial records in boxes getting ready for our big shredding day, I had a lot of time to think and talk with God about what the purpose of me being here actually is. Some of you may know that grad school in August isn't a possibility for me anymore. So now I'm back at square one with not having a plan post-New York. It's frightening but exciting at the same time. The Lord really worked with me on that fact, again emphasizing to me the importance of not looking towards where I am going but focusing on where I am and more importantly, who I am. But what He really whispered to me today was the revelation that working in an office IS doing missionary work.
A lot of times we think of missions as going for a week, a couple of months, or maybe a few years and then returning home. Missions brings to mind an image of a short term commitment. You come, you serve, you leave and sometimes you may or may not have had an impact. What I'm learning, is that sometimes this mindset can be wrong. Not all the time, don't get me wrong, but sometimes it can be. In our intern bible study today we talked about a man whose goal was to learn the first names of all the people in his neighborhood, that was his goal for his missions term. Now I'm terrible with names so it would probably take me twice as long as him, but still that would take years. He's been here around thirty. To the people that are serving in these communities, missions is a daily commitment to live life in their neighborhood. They don't focus on church programs, they don't focus on worship services, yes they have them, but their outreach is through life--the joys, the obstacles, the problems, the solutions--whatever it may be. They live life with these people. I just can't have the same impact that these people can have in their neighborhoods.
So, I realized, working in the office, spending days in the basement, filing paperwork, all of that is my way of serving those who are already doing missions in this field. We don't think about doing missions for the missionaries, but I'm realizing it's an important thing. Sometimes things get overwhelming, sometimes they need encouragement, sometimes just reminding that there are people supporting them, sometimes they need people to answer phones. So that's my purpose. I'm serving the missionaries, the people who are living life here already. I'm serving those people that are building relationships, and I'm trying to build some relationships of my own within the neighborhood. Just like it's not about where I am but who I am, it's not about what I'm doing, it's about Who I am doing it for.
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