Attitude Problem

So it's been awhile since I posted last. It has been crazy the last few weeks with packing and getting ready to leave, then actually arriving at training, and now settling into my town for the summer. I can look back to just a few months ago when I first learned that I would be spending my summer in South Georgia. It's crazy how time flies. Now that I'm here, I want time to slow down just a little because after getting over my initial struggles, I am loving it here. Granted, that was not my first reaction. I felt awkward and out of place in this tiny town and tiny church. I immediately stuck out as the new person and I did not feel at all welcome in the church that I was serving in. If I'm being honest, the first night I spent in this town, I almost had a nervous breakdown. I remember frantically telling a friend that I just couldn't do it, that I wasn't cut out for this.

You see, it's crazy the way God works, crazy and wonderful all at the same time. In just the few shorts weeks that I have been away from home and my second home, He has already started pointing out all of the things in my life that needs fixing. I am learning so much already, about myself, about what I truly want, about God, and especially about what God truly wants for me. He's been shutting a lot of doors but He's also been opening up a lot of windows. Going back to my first night here, I felt overwhelmed and discouraged. I immediately questioned God and knew that He had somehow put me in the wrong place. Sometimes, I still feel that way. You see, my youth group is all guys. Talk about being hard to relate to. Teenage boys who like to skateboard and me, a college girl who is socially awkward, ridiculously clumsy, and extremely naive. How am I supposed to relate to these guys? To top it all off, these guys are going through some serious stuff right now. So my first night, I have a little conversation with God and it went a little something like this.

"GOD WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING PUTTING ME HERE WITH THESE BOYS THAT I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO RELATE TO? THE WHOLE PURPOSE OF THIS IS TO MAKE RELATIONSHIPS AND HELP BUILD THIS YOUTH GROUP BUT HOLY COW, YOU HAD TO MAKE IT DIFFICULT. YOU COULDN'T HAVE GIVEN ME A YOUTH GROUP WITH ALL GIRLS, HUH? OR EVEN JUST A YOUTH GROUP WITH A FEW GIRLS, YOU KNOW THOSE PEOPLE I HAVE A LOT IN COMMON WITH THAT I KNOW HOW TO TALK TO? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO TALK TO THESE BOYS ABOUT? THIS IS REAL FUNNY GOD, NOW REALLY, WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO BE THIS SUMMER. NICE JOKE, BUT COME ON, SHOW ME THE TOWN THAT I REALLY AM SUPPOSED TO BE SERVING IN."

And it went on and on and on for a while like that with me whining (oh and yes, all caps does denote my extremely high freaking out voice, for those of you who know me lol). I just knew God had it all wrong. Maybe God had verizon and the phone call had just been dropped when they were determining the town and church I would be with. That was my thinking. How wrong I can be sometimes, and how rare it is when I admit it. God tells me in Colossians 3:17 "And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him." Wait, excuse me God, do what in the name of Jesus? Do all? You mean as in everything? Like every little thing I do I'm supposed to do it in the name of Your son? He then tells me in Philippians 2:14-15 that not only am I to do all things in the name of Jesus, but I'm also to "Do all things without murmurings and disputings that ye may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the world..." Um excuse me God, I'm supposed to do ALL things for Jesus and I'm never supposed to complain. Whew, this is hard work.

This verse reminds me of one of the tasks for a day in The Love Dare. You were supposed to spend one day doing everything without complaining. I tried and I failed. But there is a verse in God's Word that gives me hope, not only for this summer but for my future as well. I may not know what to do with these guys this summer. I may not know how to relate to them or understand anything of what they're going through. But I'm working for someone who knows everything about them and who knows exactly how to relate to them. In Philippians 4:13 God tells me that "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." As long as I cling to Him, this summer and through life, I can do all He asks of me and I can do it all with the right attitude. It's just one of those stepping stones in my walk with Him.