Astonishing!

Today I started reading a book for the second time. The first time I didn't get through the first few chapters and then all craziness broke out and I completely forgot about it. To be honest, I don't think I've picked the book up since Christmas time as evidenced by the fact that today when I picked the book up to begin reading, I opened it up and found a Christmas card tucked away inside. And no, it was not being used as a bookmark. I heard of this book last fall and desperately wanted to read it. There was something about it that just struck a chord with me and I knew that it would be something that I would benefit from. Today as I made my way through the first few chapters (again) I found myself wanted to underline and star every sentence. I found myself writing endless notes all through the margins, something that I hadn't done the first time through. It was as though I hadn't really grasped the thought behind the text the first time I went through reading it. Today, however, the ideas were jumping out at me.

The name of the book is Dying to Live by Clayton King and the main thought between the front and back cover (or at least what I have gotten through so far) is just that. Realizing that our lives are more than just simple existences that end when we draw our last breath. In the very introduction of this book, I found one of the strongest points so far. It says, "I've been trying to get God to bless me and give me an easy life without giving Him any of me." I have read that same sentence over several times because I realized, today  mind you, that a lot of times THAT is exactly my mindset. I do things with the wrong motives, the wrong intentions, but still expect God to bless me through them. He finishes the introduction out by talking about true life and really "dying to live". He says, "And the way that life is discovered is by dying. Dying to your STUBBORN will, your CHILDISH pursuits, your SHALLOW dreams, your SUPERFICIAL selfishness." Because that is exactly what everything within us is-stubborn,childish,shallow,and superficial. We are all of those things without Christ but thankfully, we do not have to live our lives like that.

Another one of the biggest ideas I have gotten through this book so far is that Christ's purpose in life was to come as a sacrifice. To live purely and perfectly and then die the death of a criminal. Christ came to die. Why then, do we as humans-full of sin and evil-think that we deserve anything else out of life? Why do we think that our purpose is any different? I'm not talking about physical death here, I'm talking about dying out to ourselves. Dying out to the ambitions, dreams, desires, wishes, and ideas of ourself that will eventually lead to our demise regardless. The things of this world are not enjoyable in eternity. They are false promises and fake hopes. They do not sustain and they do not last. Yet we continually place our joy in them. I am speaking straight from experience here. The opposite of denial is acceptance, exalting. If we do not deny ourselves and follow Christ, then we are doing the opposite-we are accepting our sin, even exalting our sin and self and denying Christ. "If we live only for ourselves, we lose everything once we draw our last breath."

 Life is practice for death. If our life is centered around temporary things, what does that mean for us as we face death? An astonishing thing to really ponder on is that once we have reached death, we can't change anything. There are no more do-overs, no more repeats, no more chances. We get one life. What are we doing with it? What am I doing with it? Have I died to myself so that I can life a life of FREEDOM and JOY through the only one who has defeated death?

I  leave you with this question. What or better yet, Who are you living for-yourself or God? It's something I had to ask myself today and I found that as much as I wanted to say that I was fully and completely living for God, I couldn't and that to me was astonishing.

Being true to my word I wanted to include a video with this post. It's my current song obsession. We played this song several times at BCM this year and I have fallen deeply in love with it. They don't sing the second verse in this video but I want to include the lyrics to it because it's my favorite.

Oh Lord, please light the fire
That once burned bright and clean
Replace the lamp of my first love, 
That burns with holy fear.

Oh Lord You're Beautiful-Jesus Culture