Rear View Mirrors

Beauty. What does it truly look like? We've all heard the old cliche "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." What truth that statement holds. Beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder, but unfortunately a lot of times we don't exactly see it. David Hume wrote, "Beauty in things exists merely in the mind which contemplates them."

Today I was heading out of my hometown back towards Athens and if you know me at all and have ever had a conversation with me about where I am from, you have heard me say two things. First, that you've probably never heard of my town because it is tiny. Second, it's in the middle of the mountains and it's absolutely GORGEOUS. Now I want to note that I didn't always think my small podunk town was striking until I left it. Now I get excited as the mountains start popping back up on the horizon as I drive back into town. It's one of those things I hope to never get over. But in the twelve years or so that I have lived there, I never really realized the beauty that surrounded me every single day as I drove to and from school, drove around town, drove 30 minutes just to reach human civilization. Every day I lived in the midst of this beauty and my eyes were closed to it. Only when I left did I see it. Today, as I was once again driving away, I looked in my rear view mirror and the sight took my breath away. I was on Taylor's Ridge and the view from there is awe inspiring. But today instead of looking at the view as I was approaching it, I watched in as I passed and it was even more breath taking, dangerous yes, but absolutely gorgeous. The thought struck me, how have I missed that view for all of these years? How have I been missing the natural beauty that surrounded me every day as I walked through the motions of my life.

Then another thought hit me even harder. If I am missing such blatant physical displays of beauty that God has surrounded me with, how much more am I missing? A song came on my playlist as I was driving back and it just hit a nerve. Maybe it was because I was a little torn up about leaving or maybe it was because of the conviction I had just had, but it hit a nerve nonetheless. The song wasn't necessarily about God, but in reality everything is about Him isn't it, or at least it should be. The song was talking about love and running away from it (I know it doesn't seem to connect with my last train of thought but bare with me, I promise this is just one long train). I'm a little bit of a pessimist. I helped found the Junior Optimist club at my middle school and my dad always told me that I was the most pessimist optimist he had ever met. I expect the best but hope for the worst (seems a little backwards right)-in people, situations, relationships, any outcome really. I wouldn't even say I expect the best though. I don't really expect anything a lot of times, but I do hope that the worst occurs because I can handle bad. I have known a lot of difficult situations growing up so to me, bad news is second nature. To me, living with a difficult situation overhead just seems normal. Chaos and tragedy have been such a big part of my life that I know how to handle that. What I can't handle is good.  I run away from anything that looks like good, or in the words of the song, anything that looks like love. So here's the connector.
Love.
God loves us----me.
God IS love.
God is good.
God is love. God is good. Love is good.
God's love is good.

He loves us. He doesn't promise crystal clear sunshiney days but He loves us and that means that we should have unfathomable joy and maybe get the opportunity to have a few crystal clear sunshiney days. God has blessed me with so much but instead of recognizing the beauty that I've been living in I've been searching for the part where something bad happens. I've been running away from the good and searching for the bad. I've been waiting to find something, the smallest thing, that will prove to be a disappointment. Instead of cherishing the beauty that God has blessed me with, I've been anticipating disaster. So here's my point-live in the moment. If we are always looking for the next thing, we are missing what God has given us NOW. I don't want to wait and have to look in the rear view mirror to see the beauty of what God is doing, I want to live in it, recognize it, see it, cherish it, bask it, be grateful for it, praise Him for it, be awestruck by it, love it NOW.

Here are just a few things that are in my NOW that God has blessed me with:

1. Family-they may be crazy, we may have a few dents and insane moments, but I love them. They are wonderful and encouraging and although some relationships aren't as great as I would hope, I pray that they grow. He has blessed me with a wonderful father and an amazing older sister with both I am extremely close. And I admit sometimes I wish I had a more normal family, but then I would have no crazy stories to tell.

2. Friends-I am blessed with the amazing opportunity to live next door and with some of my dearest, closest friends. We have the chance to share in so much with each other just because we live so close together. I couldn't ask for a better support or source of encouragement. These girls are amazing and to think, I didn't even know them that well when we moved in.

3. BCM-This is my family away from home. I love this place and to have the chance to see it change and grow is amazing. The friendships I have made with other students and with the campus ministers are each their own blessings. The opportunities I have been given through this ministry-using my talents, abilities, gifts, for Him. It's been such a strong light in my life and I am so thankful to have found a place to call "home".

4. Opportunities- Finally, the Lord has given me some amazing opportunities for this summer, some of which I was hesitant to take. He has given me a chance to rest and a chance to serve. He has given me a chance to spend some time with a family and kids that I love to pieces AND a chance to once again use my talents and abilities that He has given me for Him. He is giving me the chance to go somewhere new and work with kids that I don't know but will hopefully build relationships with by the end of the summer. And He has given me the chance to be a part of a church family that is going out and serving in their own community.

These are pieces of the beautiful things that God is placing around me. I'm reminded of the song by Gungor, "Beautiful Things".

"You make beautiful things. You make beautiful things out of the dust. You make beautiful things. You make beautiful things out of us."

Beauty.